Everyone who has ever survived a bad break-up should be called ‘hero’. It’s never been easy and it will never be easy. I never really understood the term ‘heartbreak’ until this phase of my life.
I found this story and i thought to share...enjoy.
It’s been just over two weeks now. I am a man but I will swallow my pride and I will tell you that I damn near cried myself to sleep for the first two weeks after the breakup. In fact, I cried (Yes, I said it). But I am healing now and I am doing a lot better today. We still talk, but I plan on ending that when she’s done retrieving all her stuff from my apartment. I know that I will need to break all contacts with her as much as I will need to work on myself and give myself the chance to get to meet new people… same for her too.
But before I jump to the future, let me tell you of the past. I met her when I had just turned 23 and she was 20. She was my first… girlfriend and lover and even though she had been with other guys before me, she would always let me know that I was the only one who ever truly satisfied her in bed. I should be proud of that considering the fact that I haven’t been with anyone else.
She had problems in her family and my family (literally every family member) and I tried to help her as we could until she got free and she got on her own feet. When I turned 25 and she turned 22, we moved in together against better judgment. Maybe that was the mistake that led us to today and maybe not but whatever the case, we were still together. Then, I fell ill. I was so sick then that I had no s*x drive so for months, we had no bedroom relations whatsoever. She stayed by my side through it all and soon enough, I began to get better.
We were still not being intimate. Sometimes, we had that only one or twice in a whole month and at 25 and 22, that is what you might call abnormal. Maybe, we didn’t want to deal with the ugly truths so we kept consoling ourselves with the comfortable lies.
We were disintegrating. It was obvious that we had no sense of intimacy between us. We were living like flat mates or friends. I tried, I really tried. I made up dates, I tried to plan surprises and all but even those felt awkward between us and I was the only one making the effort. She was growing more distant with every day but I never stopped loving my baby. Not for a second.
Sometimes, we would discuss living separately to try to save our relationship but we never did. Two months ago, we went to a party together. I went off to get some drinks for us with some of the guys and when I got back to our seats, she was nowhere to be found. Some minutes later, I read a text on whatsapp saying ‘Going to meet my friend’
I had never been so angry in my life but behind that anger was the fear that it might be over and I was right. That night, she didn’t come back home and the day after the party, she broke up with me. She called me on the phone and we talked for hours. She talked about how she was tired of living a lie and how it had been over a long time ago. She used up all the clichés… I didn’t want to hurt you, I’m sorry it had to be this way etc. At some point, I wasn’t listening anymore. My fears had come to pass… I had lost her to someone else. I wished the story ended there. Maybe it would have been easier to swallow but it didn’t. She was still at my place because according to her, she needed some time to find a new place and move out. I agreed regretfully. She went out and came back at odd times and I got very curious about who she was meeting. How could it be a friend? I began to snoop around her room, her laptop, anywhere I could find some details.
I went as far as checking her Facebook page as she was very active on there. I found out that she had been chatting with one particular guy for the past 3-4months and he was the one that she had met that night of the party. He looked much older than her, I looked at all his pictures and I didn’t get it. What did she see in him? Their texts were very sexual. It broke me. She promised to never lie to me; It didn’t matter what it was, we were going to be honest with each other no matter what so how could she possibly do that to me?
The questions came going through my mind and I waited for her to come back that night and I let all my frustration and hurt out. It was ugly! We screamed, we begged and we cried. She accused me of invading her privacy and I accused her of cheating on me and hurting me. When we had screamed until we could scream no more, she began to cry and confess everything…
I was so broken but I got the part of the fact that she slept with him only after breaking up with me. She had spent the night with him that day of the party; she said she regretted staying at his place and thought that she was having wrong feelings because she was still with me. She said he touched her in ways that made her feel good and that it wasn’t right because she felt guilty after etc. But she had lied to me and she had kept secrets and she had kept me in the dark. I swallowed all my hurt in, I helped her pack her every little belonging of hers from my house and I said goodbye.
For days, I felt bad and I felt guilty. Did I push her to this place? Being with a man who is clearly not deserving of her but I woke up last week Monday and I realized that it was not my fault that I fell sick and it affected our lives and I had spent all my days trying to pay her back for all that she had done. I realized that she did not deserve me and when those sad thoughts come in, that truth remains my consolation.
It is hard, I won’t lie and I feel lonely often but I’m not about to go out looking for anything in skirts to smash. I’ve never been and I will never be that guy. I’ve found a new best friend though – the gym and let me tell you that it helps. But until this pain seeps out of my system, I keep moving.
QUESTIONS?
1. What was wrong with this relationship?
2. Was chasing the girl out that day of hot argument and screaming the right thing to do and how helpful was it for him.
3. After two weeks, the guy is gathering his broken pieces, how long will it take a lady to do so?
4. There is something to learn from the story...........................
please send in your comments.
